Everyone in DC needs to calm down. I know you all feel like you just hit the double zero on the free agency QB roulette board but what if Carson Wentz is actually good? No seriously. What if the only reasons he appears to the public to be not good are for reasons completely out of his control? After crunching the numbers it’s pretty plain to see and I’ll even go out on a limb and predict Carson Wentz is about to have the best passing season out of any quarterback to ever have worn a Washington Commanders uniform. Look, I know you Commander fans don’t believe me one bit but here you all are still in a fresh state of shock and dread needing any shred of hope to keep you from putting the arson in Carson.
It is kind of funny that this fan base was expecting something more here. Imagine dating a slew of normals over a 20 year period and expecting Scarlett Johansson or Brad Pitt to just walk into your bedroom. You all might wanna sit down for this one, but Carson Wentz is the best Washington quarterback of your lifetime. I’m sorry, but washed up Donavan McNabb doesn’t count. You just upgraded to a gunslinger who has averaged more touchdowns per game than any QB you’ve had in at least the last 23 years and is third in yards passing:
You can’t domesticate a wild animal and there’s no quarterback as untamed in the NFL as Carson Wentz. The NBA had Dennis Rodman, the NFL has Wentz. This guy will try anything at any time and attempts throws that often literally defy physics. And he can make these throws too. He hasn’t yet. But in his mind, he will. I mean, I think we all know this. Most quarterbacks don’t even attempt to pass when getting thrown backwards by three defensive linemen. Carson looks to go deep. This man is a wild breed and he belongs in the great outdoors. And that’s exactly where he’ll be in 2022. Wentz has played 18 career games in a caged indoor stadium and another 67 in the great outdoors. Using an indoor/outdoor split, you can see which habitat allows Wentz to thrive:
While his touchdowns per game were a smidge better in a dome, he threw 30 more yards, less interceptions and rushed for five more yards in outside stadiums where he was free to roam. You might not think this is much, but just think about all the screw ups of Wentz’s career when things were tight. Would he even had needed to attempt that physics defying pass if he had 35 more yards of production? Makes you think.
Don’t worry. It gets better. Not only is Wentz getting rescued from captivity, but he’s going to the perfect climate. According to weather.com, the average temperature last September in DC was 73 degrees. No quarterback has performed better from a yards per attempt standpoint in 73 degree weather than Carson Wentz:
Shoutout Brandon Weeden. Anyway, getting off to a good start in September is important, but what about the other months? DC averaged 48 degrees in both November and December last year and Wentz’ career yards per attempt at this exact temperature (8.41) trailed only Jamarcus Russell (9.08), Baker Mayfield (9.2) and Jared Goff (12) for any QB in the past couple decades. I’ll save my “Jamarcus Russell would have worked out if he played in a cold city” take for another day.
OK so September, November, and December are on lock. What about October? Glad you asked. I saved the best for last. Touchdowns are good in the NFL. Most NFL quarterbacks generally know this. Carson Wentz is one of only eleven quarterbacks to throw 14 touchdowns in any given month of a season. He did this in October of 2017. I don’t know about you, but I only see two types of quarterbacks on this list. Hall of famers, and future hall of famers. And Carson Wentz.
The evidence is clear. Carson Wentz is about to stampede on the league in every month of 2022 like no Washington team has in the past couple decades. This technically makes Wentz a generational talent. For DC anyway. He has all the months covered. I mean, except for January, but let’s be real Washington’s January plans go about as deep into the month as a New Year’s dieter. Let’s not be too greedy here. I know you all were hoping for a super model QB, but Carson Wentz is the best you’ve ever had and like every crazy sig other says, if you can’t handle him at his Wentz, you don’t deserve him at his best.
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