T he 2022 NCAA tournament may have just started but after this incredible opening weekend I couldn’t help but lean right into awards season and dish out the inaugural March Maddies™ awards. We’re in the eye of the storm now with a much needed respite after pulling four 12-hour shifts so it’s only healthy to take a break from watching basketball on TV to do something different like read about basketball on your phone. Here’s to an incredible opening weekend. Happy March Maddies!
Analytics Fail Award
Winner: Google
You might be disappointed that your high-seed team got upset this weekend but I’m here to tell you it’s not your fault. They probably shouldn’t have been seeded so high. I put the blame on the Seeding Committee and more specifically the Google analytics consultants who decided to tweak the ranking model (called NET) before the 2021 season:
With the changes announced in May 2020, the NET will no longer use winning percentage, adjusted winning percentage and scoring margin. The change was made after the committee consulted with Google Cloud Professional Services, which worked with the NCAA to develop the original NET.
– NCAA.com
Let’s see how that worked out for them. Below you’ll find the total sum of seeds left after the opening two rounds since 1985. This year (blue dot) we have an 85. Not a great look as this falls firmly into the technical “Shit’s Whack” territory:
But it’s better than Google’s roll out year of 2021 (only “Fire Seeding Committee to Sun” year) which explains why literally no one ever uses Google Sheets. Way to crash hard Google. This Maddie’s for you.
Failing Up Award
Winner: Gonzaga
Eight teams managed to miss at least 11 shots in a row in the first two rounds yet Gonzaga is the only one team who somehow managed to win anyway.
Assuming a field goal average of 45%, the odds of missing 12 in a row is about half a percent at any given time so factor in an entire game and these things happen. But this definitely makes winning harder. The Zags didn’t care. They’re so good they can win without having to worry about doing something desperate like trying to score points. On top of that, Drew Timme holds the tournament record for worst free throw shooting game for a player on a winning team at 6/13 (46%). This is the type of performance you expect out of a guy who’s halftime rally speech literally started with “I don’t give a flying fuck if we win or lose”. You gotta respect this. Timme and the Zags just sipped their Big Gulps in Bighead fashion on to the Sweet 16.
Spin Zone: Succeeding Down Award
Winner: San Francisco
On the flip side, San Francisco managed to make the second most shots in a row out of any team while in a losing effort:
Best Momentum Fail
Winner: Baylor
A broadcast analyst for D1 sports has two jobs. Tell us who has the momentum and tell us when it inexplicably 180s. These top experts teach us the same lesson every night as if they go home and get memory zapped by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. “Team X really needs to finish the half/game strong to keep the momentum” over and over every goddamn studio booth breakdown until people like me finally start thinking maybe I should do something with my family. Anyway, somehow Baylor did not get this lesson. They did not learn that you’re supposed to keep playing lights out after finishing a game strong due to this first and only sportscaster law of thermomentum. The Bears showed everyone in the opening round why they were the reigning National Champions after pummeling Norfolk State by 36 points – the largest margin of victory of any game in the first two rounds. These guys never slowed down whatsoever as Baylor never even missed more than two shots in a row at any point. I mean, these guys were just on. They were rolling. Nothing could stop this inertia.
Then came round two. The Baylor Bears inexplicably lost their momentum right off the bat vs UNC and fell behind by 25 points with less than 10 minutes left (while not playing press-defense) and somehow, someway regained the momentum to come back and tie the game in the final moments of regulation (all while playing press). The comeback stunned the analysts who had no other explanation other than “Baylor taking back the momentum” which Baylor magically lost yet again in overtime inexplicably and in no way that would allow anyone to ever figure out exactly why (all while no longer playing press because reasons).
Saddest Foul Award
Winner: Auburn (vs. Miami)
Runner Up: Auburn (vs. Miami)
Gotta hand it to Bruce Pearl for not calling off the dogs down 15 with 31 ticks left before also not calling off the dogs down 16 with 19 ticks left. Any excuse a coach has to pop open that Expo marker cap he’s going to capitalize on. And Shoutout Colorado State. You might argue down 10 with :55 or even :45 left isn’t totally out of the realm of comeback possibility, but down 11 with :16??? Respect.
Best Choke Avoiding Performance
Winner: Purdue
Purdue has a checkered tournament history that usually ends early with “Purdont” trending. That was almost the case again this year after the Round 2 matchup with Texas. Purdue started a little shaky but went on a 20-0 run which was the most points a team scored in a row in the tournament and for the most time. As a matter of fact, Purdue holds both the top and second-top time spans holding their opponent to zero points:
But leave it to Purdue to still find themselves trailing in the second half after holding a team to zero points for almost literally a quarter of the game. But tip the cap for the self-administered CPR by Purdue to avoid their usual choke job. Shout out New Mexico State and LSU for holding a team scoreless for 20 percent of a game and still finding a way to lose.
That’ll do it for now. Congrats to all the Maddie winners. In closing, I’d like to present to all of you a Maddie for making it out alive of one of the best sports weekends of the year. Enjoy the eye of the storm while you can. Thursday is coming.
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