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Pete Carroll might be my new worst enemy. An anti-statite of the greatest degree, the NFL’s eldest dinosaur of a coach simply refuses to use basic statistics in his in-game decision-making. I don’t care that they are 4-1 and in first place. They should have lost their Week 5 match-up with the Rams and no one will really look back at the tremendously awful decisions he made because they somehow got lucky enough to win.
Here are two specific Pete Carroll fuck ups you won’t hear about much about from mainstream media:
Stupid Decision #1: Kicking a Field Goal on 4th and 1 from Rams 30
Troy Aikman mentioned on the broadcast that he was surprised by Carroll’s decision to not go for it even though he claimed “the book” says kick a field goal. The idea that any “book” suggests not going for it is, of course, wildly wrong. While different analysts have slight differences, they all recommend going for it in this situation.
Here’s a guide from the New York Times from 2014 with the left chart showing what coaches SHOULD do:
What book is Troy talking about? Josh Hermsmeyer from 538 was kind enough to locate it for me, presumably under some old leather helmets in the attic of the football archives:
As the NFL’s oldest fart of an anti-statite coach, you could probably convince me this is the actual book Pete Carroll lives by and he proved as much with this coward ass decision. After the game Carroll said going for it in this situation would be “getting desperate”. Yes, thinking your grown ass NFL football team can get half a yard in a statistically advantageous situation is “desperate”. What page of papyrus did he read that from?
Honestly I don’t even know how to approach making fun of Carroll here.
I crunched the numbers to see how often coaches went for it on 4th down in that exact situation: 4th and 1 from the opposing team’s 30 yard-line. Turns out from 2009 – 2018, 78.4 percent of coaches were “getting desperate” and going for it.
This shouldn’t really have surprised me though because as the league’s oldest fart of a coach, Pete Carroll is one of the most cowardly on 4th down. Compared to all other teams in the last nine years (Carroll’s tenure in Seattle), the Seahawks went for it on 4th and 5 or less between the 50 and opposing team’s 37 only 32.6 percent of the time. Only the Falcons out-cowarded the Seahawks in this time frame which really puts a bad name to birds everywhere. As you might deduce, the 50 to an opposing team’s 37 is about the area on the field where it’s too risky to kick a field goal and too close to punt so it’s a no-brainer to go for it. Officially, it’s the don’t be a little bitch part of the field. Yet, 63 percent of the time, Pete Carroll curdles up in the fetal position.
Stupid Decision #2: Not Playing Sideline Defense on Rams Last Offensive Play
As dumb as the 4th down decision was, this one take the cake. With :20 left it was 3rd down and 15 from the Seattle 35. What’s more important about this play is that the Rams were out of timeouts. Take just a quick second to think about how you’d play this defensively. Well, Pete Carroll decided to go full prevent-to-win defense as he did that entire drive and easily allowed the Rams to complete a quick pass for 9 yards out of bounds taking only five seconds off the clock.
All Carroll had to do was put extra corners on each side to keep all passes in bounds while also defending deep. Any catch in bounds is going to take at least nine seconds, leaving the Rams with a running clock of no more than :11 – and likely much less – to feverishly rush the field goal unit on to snap the ball. Not likely to happen. Instead Carroll gifted the Rams with an easy field goal attempt and no one will say boo now because the Rams missed the kick.
The main point is that Pete Carroll is an anti-statite and the fact that he only won one Super Bowl with the Legion of Boom and one of the best quarterbacks in the game is laughable.
The sooner these old conservative traditionalist anti-statite coaches retire and rot the better. Pete Carroll is the worst decision-making coach since John Fox and like Fox has ridden the coat tails of a hall of fame QB and an elite defense to merely one Super Bowl win.
I’ll end with this final message to Pete:
– El Jefe
