It was a rough day for the Washington Commanders. So bad I think it’s worth their PR team’s effort to consider a full rebrand including name change despite having never played a down as their current name. Impressive that this is even a floating thought. It took totally not a pyramid-scheme conglomerate Quixtar 50 years before they felt the need for a fresh name update to Amway, but one offseason was all this organization needed to shit all over their fresh look. The only commanding going on with this team so far has been their market share of internet memes.
Where to start on today? How about training camp:
Spin zone: maybe everyone else came on day 1? The showing and energy of attendees displayed in photo 1 and 2 above could be easily be mistaken for a kindergarten preseason tee ball game when the coach accidently told parents the game started 30 minutes before it actually did. The two chairs in photo 1 tell you it’s abandoning owners gave it one last shot to come out and root for this clusterfuck team before giving up and deciding it would be too embarrassing to be seen carrying the chairs back to the car. As for the two kids left there sitting, one decided playing games on his phone was much more interesting and the other clearly agreed. And if you zoom in on what appears to be a photography tent in photo 1, you’ll see a group of guys huddled together in the same stance all dads give at the start of a garage sale as they wait for anyone to show up. Things don’t get much better in photo 2 where everyone looks dejected and uninterested and the grounds look like a baseball field from an elementary school that closed in the 70’s. Give the Commanders some credit in photo 2 though for at least sending their star player out to sign autographs.
OK, so the crowd hasn’t been that hyped, but I’m sure the player’s will turn up to get things started for the Commander’s inaugural season:
I guess you have to respect someone taking a big risk and quitting their ho hum 9-5 to chase their dreams of maybe one day becoming an associate product manager. Ron Rivera even mentioned that Gandy-Golden was doing well in camp which is probably something he might have decided to keep to himself to save any bit of face. In fairness, I checked out the team YouTube highlight reel on the day and I will say there were some completed passes when the defensive players weren’t on the field.
Just a rough one all in all. Let’s check in on what the Commander’s owner has been up to today. A true leader knows when a bad day starts to snowball it’s important to be present and assist in anyway possible to smooth things out:
On. Brand.
I don’t mean this is a partisan way but could there be any better symbolism in this being the team to represent the city of our nation’s political leaders? Just name them the Mars Rover’s so maybe Elon will swoop in with his Twitter funds to throw down on. Hell, at this point, a 50-50 Hunter Biden, Don Jr. ownership split is probably no worse than what they have going on now. I don’t know, what’s Donald Sterling up to these days? He’s experienced working with slums anyway.
For the Commander fans reading this, I feel for you. I’d tell you not to worry too much about a bad day because there’s always tomorrow, but at this point that’s sort of the problem. But seriously, the turmoil can only last so long. There’s going to be a day when Dan Snyder is gone and the organization can begin to rebuild it’s reputation. I’m sure Dan Snyder’s son is a decent of enough guy.
Wishing you all the best on day 3.
